8/16/11

So I suppose I should do a post here every now and then. I think I like to spend more time thinking about what to write as opposed to actually writing anything. It also seems as if some of my fingers are faster than others so I am transposing a lot of letters! I have a post in my head about when I found out I had cancer but I haven't been able to sit down and start writing it. And if I keep putting it off, I may never write at all. So I thought I would talk about today.

Today I had chemo for the 3rd time. It's always a little humbling. The first time I went, I didn't really talk to anyone. I think I was somewhat overwhelmed. It was the first day with both the radiation and chemo. But my mom went with me (have I mentioned how awesome my mom is?) and she talked to one of the ladies when the Benedryl knocked me out. This lady has cancer in her bowels. She has one daughter in high school and several older children. She is tall and athletic looking. She always brings these healthy snacks. She had a sandwich today with sprouts on it and offered to share without a moment's hesitation. Her daughter came with her today and her son came to visit also. She is on a maintenance program after finishing her regular chemo treatment.

Last week, I sat next to a lady who had breast cancer and it is now in her lymph nodes, lungs and bones. She is this beautiful older lady who looks like she could be your favorite grandma. This is her second time through chemo treatments.

Another lady has pancreatic cancer and the chemo isn't helping very much. She is small and petite with a fiesty attitude. She crochets these beautiful afghan as she sits through her treatment. Her daughter usually sits with her for most of the time. She ordered a wheelchair because she is losing some of the function in her legs.

Today I sat next to a man who has brain cancer. He is wiry and tough looking. He always wears these motor cycle T-shirts and looks like he could beat anything. He has a dry, self-deprecating sense of humor. He found out about year ago when he got an MRI for really bad headaches. They did surgery and removed the tumor but then discovered there was one more in the center of his brain and two other small ones. They told him they could operate on those but it would most likely leave him in a condition of needing to be put in a nursing home. So he did 45 radiation treatments and now does chemo every two weeks. Every time he gets back to feeling normal, he goes in for another round of chemo. His doctor told him that he probably wouldn't survive past last June. He's lost most of his appetite. He's says he's lost 40 pounds but the tumors haven't grown and he's still kicking!

These people are dealing with way more than I am. It's so hard to listen to their stories. I only have 28 radiation treatments and 6 doses of chemo. I look around and see these beautiful people and wonder why they have to deal with all of this. I just wish I could take it all away or trade places with them.

Charlotte